his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
