Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
