then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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