hell yes lets make some ravioli
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
