they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
i think my cat just said my name.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
