How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
