I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
