halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Randomize
