She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
