You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
