can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
