i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize