I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
