Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
