C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I can't put those talents on a resume
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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