weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
