dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
