Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
