he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
