Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
