I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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