i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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