I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
