This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
