I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
