would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Sorry about my life...
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
