my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I am full of burrito and curiosity
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
