New invention idea: vibrating tampons
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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