my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
