absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
My vagina just recognized that song.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I am available for nakedness
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
