I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
