One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
