I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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