I've blown a few things in my day
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
