Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
