She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
