I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
too bad you live with your parents still
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
