I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I want to be your penis for a week.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
