he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
