I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Bring me that man meat
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
