I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
