i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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