Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
