there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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