I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
