Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
