Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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