she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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