im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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