Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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